flashystyle: (when holding back the gay part)
2018-03-21 11:28 pm

playlist








Dorian Pavus | A shark from a land of sharks.
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Heirloom
Sleeping At Last

You try your hardest to leave the past alone.
This crooked posture is all you’ve ever known.
It is the consequence of living in between
the weight of family and the pull of gravity.

You are so much more than your father’s son.
You are so much more than what I’ve become.

Long before you were born there was light
Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes.
A million choices, though little on their own,
Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known.

You are so much more than your father’s son.
You are so much more than what I’ve become,
What I’ve become,
What I’ve become.

You pressed rewind
For the thousandth time
When the tapes wore through.
So you memorized
Those unscripted lines,
Desperate for some kind of clue:

When the scale tipped,
When you inherited
A fight that you were born to lose.
It’s not your fault,
No, it’s not your fault,
I put this heavy heart in you.
I put this heavy heart in you.

You remind me of who I could have been,
Had I been stronger and braver way back then.
A million choices, though little on their own,
Became the heirloom of the heaviness we’ve known.

You are so much more than your father’s son.
You are so much more than the wars you’ve won.
You are so much more than your father’s son.
You are so much more than what I’ve become.











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Therapy
All Time Low

My ship went down
In a sea of sound
When I woke up alone
I had everything
A handful of moments
I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
In a city of fools
I was careful and cool
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments I wish I could change but I was carried away

Give me therapy
I am a walking travesty
But I am smiling at everything
Therapy, you were never a friend to me
You can keep all your misery

My lungs gave out
As I faced the crowd
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone
I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious

Give me therapy
I am a walking travesty
But I am smiling at everything
Therapy, you were never a friend to me
You can take back your misery

Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to
They are better off without you (they are better off without you)
Arrogant boy cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you
You're lucky if your memory remains

Give me therapy
I am a walking travesty
But I am smiling at everything
Therapy, you were never a friend to me
You can take back your misery
Therapy, I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy, you were never a friend to me
You can choke on your misery

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Sinner
Trevor Moran

Father, please
Please forgive me

How do I release and get untied?
I don't know how to make you feel alive
Tell me, tell me, now, now, now, now, now, baby
Tell me now, yeah, tell me now, yeah

Why you always tear me down?
Bitch, you know I'll keep this crown
Intentions are clearly known
Clearly known-ow-own
Why you always tear me down?
Bitch, you know I'll keep this crown
No, I don't feel high no more
I'm on the floor, no, baby

I'm sorry that my whole heart was not enough
I'm sorry, you can keep it 'cause I'm cold as fuck
Father, please forgive me 'cause I'm on the floor
Prayin' on the floor
Can someone save this sinner?
Sinner, sinner (someone save this)

How did I get you to leave my head?
How did I get you to leave my bed?
Baby, baby, baby
Babe, I let you go (go)

Why you always tear me down?
Bitch, you know I'll keep this crown
Intentions are clearly known
Clearly known-ow-own
Why you always tear me down?
Bitch, you know I'll keep this crown
No, I don't feel high no more
I'm on the floor, no, baby

I'm sorry that my whole heart was not enough
I'm sorry, you can keep it 'cause I'm cold as fuck
Father, please forgive me 'cause I'm on the floor
Prayin' on the floor
Can someone save this
Sinner, sinner (can someone save?)
Sinner, sinner (can somebody save me?)
Sinner (someone save me), sinner
Oh, oh

I smell his scent on your skin
Let's not try to pretend
I'm the one that's the sinner, sinner (it's you)
Time to play the victim now
Hope he's with you when you drown
Know you're worried, know you're hurting
I have the power now

I'm sorry that my whole heart was not enough
I'm sorry, you can keep it 'cause I'm cold as fuck
Father, please forgive me 'cause I'm on the floor
Prayin' on the floor
Can someone save that
Sinner, sinner (oh, baby)
Sinner, sinner (can someone save you?)
Sinner (can someone save me?) sinner, sinner
(Someone save this)

I'm a saint, bitch

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Boys In The Street
Greg Holden

When I was younger
My daddy told me I would never
Never amount to nothing special
He'd come at me from every angle
He'd say, "You're the last thing I wanted, the last thing I need
How am I going to answer when my friends tell me
My son was kissing boys in the street?

"You are part of this family, I made you myself
But the way that you act isn't good for your health
My son, stop kissing boys in the street
You are part of this family, I made you myself
But the way that you act isn't good for your health
My son, stop kissing boys in the street"

Now that I'm older, my daddy's heart's a little warmer
But he still won't hug me like my brother
And he still won't kiss me like my mother
He'd say, "You are part of this family, I made you myself
But the way that you act isn't good for your health
My son, stop kissing boys in the street"

"You are part of this family, I made you myself
But the way that you act isn't good for your health
My son, stop kissing boys in the street
You are part of this family, I made you myself
But the way that you act isn't good for your health
My son, stop kissing boys in the street"

My daddy's dying, but he's finally realized I'm not lying
We sit in silence, but we're smiling
Because for once, we are not fighting
He'd say, "There was no way of knowing 'cause all I was taught
Is men only love women, but now I'm not sure
My son, keep kissing boys in the street
My son, keep kissing boys in the street
When I'm gone, keep kissing boys in the street"

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TRACK LIST
Heirloom | Sleeping At Last
Therapy | All Time Low
Sinner | Trevor Moran
Boys In The Street | Greg Holden
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flashystyle: (the sex talk)
2017-10-27 04:09 am

[EL NYSA] IC INBOX

●●○○○ THESA
Dorian Pavus
@sparkler (33), Tevinter, Thedas

I WAS A: Incredibly privileged know-it-all with a family complex. I got better.

I'M SKILLED IN: Talking about myself excessively. Calling everyone names. Also, some magic and archiving.

I'M LOOKING FOR: A way to stop feeling so helpless in the absence of home.

ALSO, I'M: Very tired. All the time.
flashystyle: (and the max budget of $7)
2017-07-02 01:46 pm

El Nysa App

OOC


Handle: Keely
Contact: [plurk.com profile] meganerd
Over 18? Yep!
Characters Played: Snake

THE CHARACTER


Character Name: Dorian Pavus
Series: Dragon Age
Canon Point: Post Inquisition, pre-Tresspasser
Character Age: 31
Background: Here!

- Dorian goes into the past with the Inquisitor when they choose the mages.
- Dorian does not make an attempt to reconcile with his father.
- Dorian was not romanced by the Inquisitor, and did not have a relationship with the Iron Bull.

Personality: Dorian Pavus is a steadfast companion with a sharp tongue and a heart of gold. For all his faults of being raised in high society, he makes up for in genuine effort to better himself while providing intellectual and physical aid to what is right. He stays true to his ideals, and would rather live at great risk than go against what he believes.

Being raised in a country of high expectations and a restrictive lifestyle, Dorian has been rebellious since his youth. He rises above his age's academic levels in skills, but not maturity, as he often caused fights that forced his family to transfer him away from his peers several times. This carries into his young adulthood, because though Dorian performs admirably in politics and brings pride to his family, Tevinter's homophobic society prevent him from making public romantic pursuits with men. His will to ignore this and carry on as himself is troublemaking for not only his family, but he also ran the risk of self destruction with little regard for his own health.

Dorian was complacent by with skirting by in arrangements with men and avoiding his arranged marriage, up until his is kidnapped and held in his old home by his father. With their relationship already strained Dorian was already on edge, but his absolute breaking point was when he discovered his father has planned to alter his mind with blood magic. Dorian has both an intense anger and fear that anyone would rather change him than accept him as he is, but still holds a sadness that his world's views has shaped what he still believes good men to even think of such things. Dorian is not so spiteful that he would see men that have wronged him, and later shows disapproval if you condemn other characters he knows to a cruel fate when he knew their intentions to have been good once.

Upon joining the Inquisition, despite his hardship in home country, Dorian's remarks on others' views are ignorant and mildly condescending. He firmly believes slavery in Tevinter is a means of surviving and is better than living in poverty. Though joking, he remarks on how members of the party are commonfolk. He has little knowledge of how much his countrymen have stolen from elven culture, and begins to express his disappointment in misplaced apologies on behalf of his country. As custom to the rest of his peers, as his country has a longstanding war with the Qunari, he believes the race to be brutish and unintelligent.

What sets him apart from his countrymen is his willingness to see he has gone too far. Surrounding himself with those of other backgrounds, Dorian comes to acknowledge his country's faults outside of his own personal agenda. He goes from denial, to reluctant admittance of the problems (such as slavery) with uncertainty if it can be changed, to willing to make change. Dorian's remarks on others begin to come less from a place of superiority and more of a place of fondness. As a Tevene human, Dorian cannot possibly come to grasp what struggle the elves have gone through, but he comes to a place he does not make such assumptions of grandeur about his people when they have stolen so much. Ultimately, Dorian comes not to make a point of race or be so presumptuous about people's traits, especially when his own are in question.

In less personal situations, Dorian is shown often as one who finds a way to complain until the very end. No matter what climate he is in, unless he is indoors, he will claim nothing suits him. He often makes claims of how he's superior, and in dire situations, says things such as "I'm too pretty to die!". He values his life greatly, and makes it no mystery that he takes gaining knowledge quite seriously. He can't bring himself to care about other's opinions about himself in regard to his personality, as he takes great care to present himself as the best he can appear for his own sake and his own sake only.

Because of his determination to do the right thing in the Inquisition, Dorian is inspired to bring change to his own country's corruption. In contrast to a young man who only had mind for his own pursuits, Dorian grows to realize he can bring change on a larger scale, and feels he must not let it stand to go any longer for the sake of the repressed. Dorian fears to be manipulated into something he isn't, and because he stands for himself, he comes to realize his faults on his own terms.

Powers/Abilities: Dorian is a mage with his attributes in storm and inferno abilities. His specialization is Necromancer, which means he can pull life energy from enemy and spiritual energy to disorient his opponents. Additionally, mages are able to create torches and raise heavy objects out of their paths.

Power Nerfs (if applicable): I don't believe any of Dorian's abilities are capable of affecting things on a large scale. His abilities as a mage are limited to targets in combat, so the most he can do is hold his ground against multiple enemies if they aren't skilled/equipped to take him down. But if the mods would like to nerf any sort of magic, feel free!!

Inventory: Dorian has the clothes on his back and his staff.

Incentives: Dorian will still be grieving the loss of his homeland as it became his life's purpose to bring change to it. He does not have loved ones so great it can be used as incentive, but he also won't have any motive to be uncooperative. When prompted, he would ask for momentos from home for sentimental value, ranging from his family's amulet first and foremost.


SAMPLES



TDM Toplevel
flashystyle: (Default)
2016-12-27 01:50 am

visuals

Living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison. You have to fight for what's in your heart.